I realize that it has been quite some time since my last post. I cannot believe how badly I have been about updating my blog...but as per usual, life has happened. Initially I discontinued posting because I had gained weight, and then continued to plateau...I have since been out of town, and sprained my ankle :/ Needless to say, it has been a little while since my last gym visit. I have however managed to maintain my weight. I went back to visit some college friends for about 5 days, and didn't gain a single pound! woohoo! And since I have been doing nothing but elevating my foot 24/7 I have fluctuated about 1 pound gain or loss per day...but I do not weigh anymore than before I left for my mini trip, so I am very please about that. As of right now I am 31% of the way to reaching my goal! Very Exciting. Although, my goal does continue to change as I lose more weight...I keep adding about 5 more pounds to my goal haha (which keeps me motivated, I think..hopefully not the opposite).
I'm hoping to get back into the gym by the end of this week. I am going to be saving up all of my energy so that I can stay with my cousin this week. I haven't seen her in about 2 1/2 weeks now! I bet she's grown so much.. that generally seems to be the case each week I see her. I also have an orientation on Thursday and I need to be able to make a good impression then. I'm so looking forward to this week!
One of my best friends is coming into town and it will be to catch up with her! We're planning a ladies night of food and gossip, and yes, hopefully a drink or two :) I'll be sure to update as the week continues.
Oooh, there are just too many good songs that I have been listening to this week. Hmm...we'll start with this one:
Boyce Avenue and Kina Grannis "Fast Car"
I recently had the pleasure of seeing Kina Grannis live. She is wonderful!
I just threw away three days of hard work by consuming a handful of chocolate. It was so delicious. I was thinking about how I hadn't eaten chocolate in a few days, and well, I just ate a few days worth in an entire sitting..at 9:00 at night. I suppose this gives me a good reason to really put 100% in tomorrow at the gym. I had an okay workout today. 50 minutes of cardio, and a few sets of crunches, which was an accomplishment. I also went on a walk today. The sunshine felt soooooo lovely. I went out with my Kristen and Lindsay and we tried to find as many flowers as possibly. Inevitably Lindsay found the small white and yellow weeds the most intriguing. I love how easily and simply children are pleased and impressed with the little things that we adults often fail to notice. Hmm, it makes me realize more and more how I need to appreciate every little fortune life has given to me. I miss my friend, truly. She was there for me when I needed a friend to just listen to me. She knew how to comfort me in ways that my other friends who I have known for over a decade did not. She was there for the utmost turning points in my life to this day. I miss her, and I'm sad that we cannot seem to figure out a way to resolve our issue. Whenever I was feeling down, she would always try to cheer me up by singing this song.
"Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" by Lesley Gore
Wherever y'all are in the world, I hope that you have a little sunshine in your life :)
I went to the gym on Monday and took a Zumba class for the first time.. Woooheee, it was intense! It is such a fast paced routine, that I wasn't paying much attention to my posture..and after all of the lunges and squats, I hurt my knees, badly. They were so sore yesterday, I could barely walk up and down the stairs in my house. Today I'm feeling much better, thankfully. I'm not planning on going to the gym today, just to be sure that I don't mess up my knees for life. I spent some time with my friend Kristen and her daughter Lindsay today. Lindsay is a little over 3 years old and just a gem. She's such a precious little thing and I absolutely adore her. It was nice to catch up and just hang out with an old friend.
I've been going through a rough patch lately and though my friends have been supportive, it's hard because none of them are actually here. I recently ended a friendship, and I'm not taking it very well. It's similar to ending a romantic relationship. I keep going back and forth trying to figure out whether or not I made the right decision. My friend, K, has been a roller coaster of a friend. Sometimes she was truly there for me, and other times she was practically a stranger. I realized though that our friendship was dwindling. It was going in circles, and we weren't seeing eye to eye. Two weeks ago was the last time we conversed. She told me that she was pregnant, and my first reaction was that it was a lie. What kind of a friend reacts that way? A bad friend? A friend who knows her friend so well that she was actually right? I will never know whether or not she is pregnant because after she skyped me that night, she signed off and didn't return my phone calls. After a week of calling and not hearing back from her, I decided that it was best that I disconnect myself from that relationship and move on. Lo and behold, she called me the next day. I didn't have words and I didn't take her phone calls or respond to her instant messages. She in turn txted me back about a week later saying that she was tired of our passive aggressive bulls**t and that she assumed we weren't talking anymore. I so deeply wanted to respond saying that it wasn't my intention to be passive aggressive. But I realized that it obviously was her intention because she was apologizing for it. The text was also so hostile (and passive aggressive in itself) and I think that if anybody wanted to talk to me, they wouldn't be rude about it. I don't need a "friend" treating me that way, trying to make me feel guilty for something that I'm not even positive I did in the first place. So that is the end of it. She hasn't tried to contact me, and she has since blocked me on skype.
On another note.
I have once again become sidetracked with my goal. I want to lose weight. I want to be lean, or at least leaner than I am now. I would like to weigh as much as I did in high school. This goal has been such a journey to reach and I haven't even gotten halfway there yet..or even a quarter of the way! I keep falling into these traps. I've been eating horribly. I haven't been exercising as much lately, although I've been pushing myself harder. I need to stay focused. The big picture: I want to wear all of these wonderful clothes that I haven't been able to fit into in years! I want to buy new clothes and dress more sexy/mature. I want to feel good in anything I walk out the door in. So, I have to keep telling myself that this is going to be worth it. I also just realized that I actually am about a quarter of the way to reaching my goal! That's amazing! I had no idea. Okay, wow, definitely going to be using that as motivation! (As I pop and Andes chocolate mint into my mouth....)
