2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back

I've been thinking about what I'm doing wrong and why I seem to lose weight, plateau, lose weight, gain weight, plateau, lose weight...etc. I think that I've been approaching weight loss from all the wrong directions. I am constantly taking this one day at a time, and while that has its benefits, I need to keep reminding myself that this is for the long-term effects, and it's going to take longer than I may want or expect it to. I wanted to drop about 50 pounds by this December. Though I think that this is reasonable, I also have to realize that I want to keep it off, and also tone my body all at the same time...that takes time! I'm not trying to underestimate myself here, I just want to be reason with my own expectations, that way if I do plateau again, I won't get discouraged. Yesterday I ate so much food, and I think it's because I'm consistently eating less and less, and then I'll binge for a day-not a great habit, ever. I ate about two giant bowls of Chinese rice porridge, a huge foot-long sandwich, about five small plates of sushi, and ended the night with Japanese chocolate mushrooms and an almond cookie...all in all, a ridiculous amount of food, period. I feel kind of disgusted today thinking about how much I ate yesterday. And to top it all off, I didn't even workout yesterday! So today going to the gym, I'm going to do my normal strength training, and cardio, thinking about how delicious that food was yesterday, and if I want to enjoy meals like that all the time, then I have to work my butt off unless I plan to gain back all the weight I've worked so hard to lose. I really don't want to limit myself to certain foods, because I think that restriction is the number one reason why I failed at losing weight so many times in the past. Instead, I'm going to plan out meals, but realize that if I stray here and there, it's okay, but not to go nuts and change everything on the menu. My mind and my body constantly want different things. Instead of forcing a diet, I want it to come naturally. I want to consider food fuel for my body instead of comfort for my mind. That's what it should be anyway...it's training both my mind and body to work together that will be the hard part. 

I'm sorry if this post was a bit wishy washy. I wrote it in two different sittings!

And now music time:

"Steal My Sunshine" by Len

Love and all that,

l

Running On Sunshine

I feel terrific! I haven't felt this way in quite some time either. It's been an amazing day. I had a slight blowout at one point, but I worked it out, and feel 10 times better from the start of the day. It was a slow day, but it progressively became more enjoyable. I completed some household chores, I ate some delicious breakfast food mid-day, I had a sob fest with my brother (more like near my brother), worked out, and then made an apron from a pillowcase! It turned out great too, though I suppose I am a bit biased. It is now three in the morning and I'm exhausted, looking forward to a great day tomorrow with Kristen, Lindsay, and hopefully Jessi too!

On a side note, I am just over 25% to reaching my goal. I mapped out how many pounds I would like to lose each month I would like to lose, and I'm so excited, because I think that it's definitely achievable, given that I continue to eat smaller proportions, work out, and I have seriously gained will power in the midnight snacking department. I so much wanted an ice cream cone today, and I resisted. I also wanted to eat more of this delicious sandwich once I got home (just about 30 minutes ago) and I once again exerted excessive will power. I've got to be honest, I'm so proud of myself :D


I don't know if any of y'all watch Grey's Anatomy, but last night the much anticipated music event aired, and it was wonderful. Please enjoy:

Love and all that, 

l