Day 1: Success!

Today was...well it started off as a great day. I got about 11 hours of sleep which was oh so nice. I woke up and made a delicious breakfast: Fried eggs, toast, hash browns, and sausage. Oh let me tell you it was sooo delicious. I might have to make that again tomorrow, but in lesser proportions. I'm really trying to limit my bad eating habits. Although I'm very conscious of what I eat, I still haven't got the will power to stop myself sometimes. Because I had such a late breakfast, I didn't eat again until after I went to the gym. Today's workout wasn't that great. I burned 470 on the elliptical and another 100 on the bike. I also did some strength training, so I think that might've been why I couldn't push myself any more. My legs have been killing me the past few days. I can tell they are getting stronger and bulking up which is cool. However, I still want to improve my endurance. Since I've started babysitting, I haven't been able to go to the gym as often. I'm slowly getting back into the groove of things. I'm at about 45-50 minutes of cardio per day. I would like to hit 700 calories burned though..so that takes about an hour. Anyway..I'm working on a bunch of things. In addition. I would like to stop getting upset over petty things. More importantly though, I would like to stop acting on those things that aggravate me. I've been so lonely and down lately that I find myself arguing with people for no reason, mostly my family. I'm just incredibly sick of feeling like no one is one my side. Every day I receive criticism for a bunch of different things...like my weight/what I'm eating...things I'm doing wrong around the house. I'm just sick of it. I'm also waiting for my graduation gift. My mom keeps mentioning it and I really want it, not for the material aspect, but it would really mean a lot to commemorate my graduating. My parents aren't big on special occasions, but this one would really mean a lot to me...and the fact that they keep bringing it up makes it even worse. I don't know..sometimes I think that people feel that because things are so obvious, they're not even worth mentioning. Yeah..not the same thing with monumental moments in life..and even the least sentimental. I appreciate when people tell me that they love me. I think that even if it is somewhat of an overstatement (when said in such a casual/passing manner) I am one of those who thinks that it's just as important to acknowledge. I also need people to recognize and acknowledge when I do something for them. I would do anything, in return for nothing as long as the recipient is appreciative...ugh sorry for the rant. This evening was particularly difficult. My family really knows how to dig at every one of my nerves...and I snapped today. So thank you all for reading. 

"Moon and Moon" by Bat For Lashes

Love and all that,

l